I know, the Olympics have been over for almost a month now. Why am I posting about something related to it now?
Well, we live in a fast-paced world and there's value in letting things breathe a bit before speaking to them.
Also, I have a 9 month old baby who loves to roll, crawl and dive off of furniture.
Furthermore, I've been climbing the mountain of mental illness healing and recovery.
To be honest, I was ambivalent with this year's Olympics, partly because of the things mentioned already and partly because of anti-Black racism. However, I was still amped to watch Simone Biles in the gymnastics events.
You can imagine my shock when she "withdrew from the team final, the all-around and the individual vault, floor and uneven bars event finals ... to focus on her mental health after experiencing the "twisties." (ESPN, Kumar, Aug 4 2021)"
I felt shock.
And empathy.
I, too, know what it's like to have to step away for the sake of mental health.
Only some people know this, but I went on a medical leave before my maternity leave. My medical leave was not pregnancy related, it was for my mental health. My anxiety attacks and suicidal episodes were quite frequent and they were interfering with my ability to work. A lot of prayer and counsel went into my decision such that, I knew it was what Gid wanted me to do.
It was still so hard.
I felt like I was just giving up, that I was letting my mental illness win. I felt like a failure, like I should've been able to handle everything. I felt like a disappointment to the students and supporters in my ministry.
I felt like I lost my worth and my witness.
What would people think of me? That I was lazy? That I was inept? That I was crazy? That I was wasting their time and money?
Thankfully, my decision was met with only compassion and prayer.
But Simone's wasn't.
She was met with sarcasm, doubt, criticism, and meanness from many. Her worth was attacked, her skill, her love for her country. And more. Comment sections were triggering for me during the Olympics because it hit me how some people might hold my story if they heard it.
And that's a heavy burden to bear.
It's heavy, loved ones.
Too heavy.
Thankfully, Jesus invites us to give Him our weighty loads and receive rest in exchange.
What would it look for you to practice rest in your life? Where is it needed?
Maybe, you need to do something drastic like a medical leave.
Or maybe, you just need a nap.
A social media fast for a couple of hours.
A decision to not do any chores or work for a day.
Rest isn't going to feel natural. It goes against our hustle culture and our earning-based human nature.
Do it anyway.
Not because Simone Biles and I did, but because any invitation from Jesus should be responded to with a whole-hearted yes.
Grace and peace,
SKCNW.
